Domestic/Intimate partner/Dating violence can happen to anyone. It can happen to partners who are married, living together, or dating. It affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. Domestic/Intimate partner/Dating violence not only affects those abused, but also has an impact on family members, friends, co-workers, other witnesses, and the community at large.
Domestic/Intimate Partner/Dating Violence encompasses physical, psychological, sexual, economic, and emotional harm by a current or former partner or spouse. This type of violence can occur among straight or same-sex couples and falls in this category even if there is no sexual intimacy. Women ages 16 to 24 are three times more likely to experience intimate partner violence than women of other age groups. The goal is to stop the violence before it begins but often individuals are uncertain if experiences are considered abusive, particularly when there has been an ongoing relationship.
The list below provides some examples of behaviors that demonstrate abuse in a relationship or could lead to abuse:
- A partner acts extremely jealous when you talk to others
- A partner calls you names and puts you down
- A partner is always checking up on you, calling or texting, and has to know where you are and who you are with at all times
- A partner isolates you from your friends and family by demanding your time, or threatening you when you try to spend time with others
- A partner gets too serious about the relationship too fast and feels possessive
- A partner is abusive and loses their temper but always excuses themselves or doesn’t accept responsibility for their actions
- A partner tries to control you by making all the decisions, tell you what you should and should not do
- A partner demands sexual intimacy when you are not willing or interested
- A partner threatens violence
- A partner physically, verbally or sexually assaults you
In response, often you
- Give up things that are important to you
- Cancel plans with friends to appease the other person
- Become isolated from family or friends
- Worry about making your partner angry
- Find others ask you about signs of physical abuse, fear or intimidation or if you are ok
- Feel embarrassed or ashamed about what is going on your relationship
- Make excuses for your partner’s behavior
(Adapted from theadvocacycenter.org)
If you think you have experienced some of these behaviors in your relationship, or know someone who has, many Cornell and Ithaca based resources and support are available.
- For advocacy, safe housing and support after intimate partner violence or abuse, the Advocacy Center of Tompkins County has a 24 hour hotline.
- In addition, you may wish to consider consulting with other regional and national resources, including:
– Vera House (Syracuse area)
– SOS Shelter/Rise NY (Binghamton area)
– An Abuse, Rape & Domestic Violence Aid & Resource Collection (AARDVARC.org)
- For support and referral resources related to cyber harassment and online abuse: End Revenge Porn